


That one chapter that a confident writer would turn into a sex scene but i turned it into fluff because my heart needed it. but also im in pain so please send help.

by Skywolf1314



Series: Halex drabbles. [10]
Category: the raven key
Genre: M/M, Pain, Tears, my poor heart, these dorks are so in love and it kills me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25998931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skywolf1314/pseuds/Skywolf1314
Summary: I rewrote the romance chapter of my book because i hated it before. now im in pain and it's because of my fictional dorks and their feelings.
Relationships: Alex/Hawk
Series: Halex drabbles. [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1385728
Kudos: 1





	That one chapter that a confident writer would turn into a sex scene but i turned it into fluff because my heart needed it. but also im in pain so please send help.

Hawk was quiet, not because he was unhappy but because he was enjoying the humming melody Alex was doing under his breath. It was a sad song though Alex’ always seemed to be smiling when he was humming it.

“What is that song you always hum?” Hawk broke his silence.

Alex stopped his humming for a second, the trees rustled around them as though they missed the sound of Alex’s song.

“It’s a lullaby.” Alex smiled, fingers curling around a branch. “My par used to sing it to me.”

In the gentle light of the lantern, Alex looked vulnerable. Softer almost like he was younger—Alex was hiding so much behind his quiet smiles.

“He said my Ma used to sing it to me when she was pregnant. Apparently, she had the voice of an angel. Or like somethin’ otherworldly, maybe.” He swept his hair away from his face and realised the branch. “He was nothin’ if not a romantic.”

Hawk smiled softly.

“It’s nice, my mother used to sing to the plants, she used to say that singing will help them grow.” There was a memory attached to that, but Hawk couldn’t quite recall it. “I got my name from one of her songs; it was about the different birds that came to our garden.”

Alex turned his head to look at him, his blue eye gaze dulled by the firelight. Hawk itched, but it was different from the way he itched when his fear infected him. This was an itch that pooled in his stomach and ran all the way to his tongue.

“Did ya get many hawks in your garden then?”

Hawk shrugged, he wasn’t entirely sure what they looked like, only that his mother said he reminded her of one.

“I really liked the songbirds. They always seemed so sad.” Alex was like a songbird. Like the Nightingale, whose song was so sad and lonely people would weep. A Nightingale who’s song would warn of the coming night. Alex was the warning of bad things and the light that kept them at bay.

“In the south, there were loads of crows. They used to clear up after the Aces. I tamed one once, a fledglin’ that fell out of a nest above where I was kept. It was a cute little thing, but I wasn’t allowed to keep him. I let him go to a rookery; I wonder what he would be like now.” Alex sighed and held out his hand.

Hawk took it with a shy smile, looping their fingers together. Alex spoke about the different creatures that he had come across in his life. He told Hawk about the horse he desperately wanted when he was a boy, but a horse was far too hard to hide in the cracks of Fell.

“I've always been scared of horses,” Hawk admitted. “They are too big and scare easily.”

Alex chuckled.

“They aren’t that bad, convenient if you’re travellin’ by foot. You can ride em, or you can use em to carry your stuff.” He pointed to a small mound of rocks. “Up there seems like a good vantage point.”

Hawk didn’t want to ruin the mood by telling Alex how far away from the camp they actually were. Their watch would be utterly useless, though he had a suspicion they hadn’t come out to keep watch.”

“Are you going to be alright climbing with your eye injury?”

Alex shrugged.

“It’s not like I can magically grow my eye back. Best just get used to not havin’ one.”

Hawk glared at him, but Alex waved him off with a huff, pulling him over to the mound.

“You sure you can climb it? Mr Scared of Heights.”

Alex had a smirk on his lips that made the itching worse.

“I could climb it better than you.”

Alex raised his brows, and Hawk rolled his sleeves up.

“I’ll wait here and enjoy the view then.” Alex snickered.

Hawk rolled his eyes and started to climb. Really, did Alex think he was that incapable? He had fought a giant snake; he had survived an attack from Xenias.

Hawk made it to the top and let out a triumphant whoop; his cheeks warmed by the strain and the heat of the night.

“Wow, look at you.” Alex smiled warmly. “You climbed six-foot!”

“Waa?” Hawk looked down; he wasn’t that high off the ground at all. “Oh, come on!”

“Hold this for me please.” Alex held the lantern up to him.

Hawk took it and watched as Alex jumped up beside him.

“Nice try, Kitten. I’m an expert in getting over small mounds. Maybe next time you’ll climb something that’s taller than you.”

Hawk frowned.

“How come you’re so athletic? There's not that much to work with at Pandora.”

Alex held out his hand; Hawk wasn’t sure if it was for him or the lantern, so he shoved the light into his hand and put his hands in the pockets of his jumper.

Alex looked confused for a moment but shrugged it off.

“Well, my Par and I were homeless when we lived in Fell. Pops made sure I always had clothes and food mind ya, and it was only when I was old enough to keep up, did I understand where he got them from.” Alex wiggled his fingers. “Called it a Five finger discount.”

Hawk opened his mouth, but Alex threw him a wolfish look.

“You can’t tell me off, don’t think I didn’t know about you using the fountains n stuff as baths…woah that sounded far more creepier than I wanted. Ahem, I may or may not have been following you that night we ran into each other. It wasn’t for a weird reason either I was just curious as to why there was another person like me living in the south…ehh I’m just making the hole deeper ain't I?”

He dipped his head, and Hawk snorted, ruffling the man's fringe.

“Stalking me, definitely creepy. You would have been better off just saying hello.” He kissed his brow, “Continue.”

Alex paused for a second and tugged at his shirt.

“I-um, yes, so Pa and I, he’d take me to the top of Fell and race me across the buildings. Every morning we’d do it until I could beat him. He used to say to me, ‘Alexander, a man needs few things, a good wife, food in his belly and legs to run from his hunters.’ My nickname from him was Lepus, which means Rabbit in Valkarian.” Alex had such a happy look on his face; Hawk wanted to drink the moment, he wanted to taste the smile, run his hands through his hair, listen to every word that came out of his mouth as well as keep his mouth closed on his own.

It was scary, the powerful feeling that tugged at his heart, at his gut. It felt like lightning, working its way across his system. Should he allow it to control him, he feared that he would not be able to take back control even if he begged.

Was that such a bad thing?

“Yea, Par only started losin’ because he got sick, I think if he were still in his prime, he’d have buried me in sandstone dust long before I even finished climbin’ up to the top.” Alex sighed, “Damn, I miss him. He would have liked you. He’d probably sit me down and say ‘Alexander, you’ve got yourself a good one there, don’t let him go.’”

Alex eyed Hawk, and before Hawk could act on the itching that was everywhere, he asked another question.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened to him?”

Alex was quiet for a moment, his tongue sweeping his lower lip as though he were swirling the worlds around his mouth. Quiet Alex was Hawk’s least favourite Alex; it was Alex with cracked walls and sad expressions; it was Alex without his flirtatious charm and warming smile.

“My Par got so sick he couldn’t go on food runs anymore. I decided to try and help him.” Alex shivered like the memory chilled him. “Every year the Aces hold a tournament in the south to decide who gets to claim over the city. Back then, the Aces weren’t our friends; they were creatures that came from nowhere and caused us to fall. Anyway, the Aces would pick one champion, human of course…”

Hawk swallowed tightly. They could see Robin’s fire from their spot; it flickered and looked pin-sized against the side of the ship. Hawk pushed himself to stand still even though the height of the rocky hill made his head spin.

“Dawn had already begun abolishing slavery so they couldn’t import kids from the capital. Instead, they nicked them from the streets. I didn’t know this; Par kept me away from that…” Alex sat on the edge, his feet dangling over the side. Hawk sat down beside him, sucking in the warmth from his body. “I made a mistake, I stole from the wrong person and they caught me. I think I was ten years old then.”

Alex rested his head on Hawks shoulder.

“Par saw them grab me; he had been shadowing me... He saw them pull my shirt and sink their fangs into my throat.” He pointed to the scar just above his left collarbone. “He came at the Ace with a stake…”

Alex pressed his face to Hawks shoulder.

“He was too weak, too fragile to fight against their strength. I watched them… I watched as they tore him apart. I couldn’t help him; I couldn’t even scream. I just remember the look of sorrow in his eyes as he succumbed to their attacks.”

Hawk stroked his hair softly; he didn’t know what to say; he didn’t know whether he should speak.

“After that, they took me. I was groomed and put to auction. I don’t know how much I sold for, but my new owner was the richest woman in Fell. I was her little pet, a lap dog that was treated like royalty compared to the other slaves.”

Hawk’s shoulder was damp, he wanted to speak, but the words failed him.

“I-I want to show you something, I’ve wanted to for a while, but I couldn’t build up the courage.”

“Alex, if you don’t want to you don’t have too, it's okay.”

Alex pulled himself away from Hawk and stood up.

“I want to.” He took a deep breath. “You caught sight of them before…but never like this, nobody has seen them like this.”

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, his hands fumbling on the last one before finally working it free.

“I like you, Hawk. A lot…More than I ever would have thought and it scares me. I don’t want to be without you so, if we’re gonna be a thing, I need to know you will still like me after you see…”

“Alex…” Hawk started, but the blond cut him off.

“Just…Just promise me that you won’t run away.”

Alex was holding his heart out to him, offering everything he had and Hawk suppressed a sob. Alex was the light in his dark, his pillar and his very best friend.

“I promise.” He said softly.

Alex nodded and swallowed dryly, lifting his shirt over his head and dropping it on the ground. He took another breath before turning around to show Hawk his back.

Hawk knew he had scars, but he didn’t realise just how bad they were. There wasn’t a single spot of smooth skin. It was rough and damaged and twisted into deep channels, discoloured by the layers of scar tissue that had built up across his flesh.

“I refused to kill a boy. And that’s when I went from her lapdog to her forgotten pet. I couldn’t bring myself to kill; it wasn’t in my nature and the boy,” Alex fought back a sob. “The boy was smaller than me, weaker…I didn’t want to be a monster.”

Alex wouldn’t turn around. He wouldn’t look at him, Hawk desperately wanted him too, but he was also afraid of the pain he’d see on his face.

“I was left to the mercy of her men. Though mercy isn’t a word I’d put with them. I’ll spare you the details of what happened. I was there for a week, a lot of it I’ve blacked out, but I can remember some parts…When it finally came to an end I was delirious, I didn’t think I’d survive the night. The only thing I had in my belly was the water they forced down me; they wanted me close to death but not dead.”

Alex was shaking; his agony was turning the grass black; it was causing the trees to rustle. Hawk spied a thistle plant growing just at the edge of the rocks; its thorns curved towards Alex’s arm.

“My wounds were infected; I had burns around my wrists and ankles. When they tossed me back into my room, I thought the last thing I was going to see would be the rising sun.”

His voice broke so painfully that Hawk stood up, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist and resting his head against his neck.

“Alex, I’m so sorry.” He cried, squeezing him tight.

“It’s fine Kitten, it’s fine…I was saved by the boy I didn’t kill. He snuck into the room I was held in and poured honey in my wounds. He told me I was stupid for saving him and that if he were in my position, he wouldn’t hesitate. He said he could only get away with helpin’ me cos he was gonna escape that night...”

Alex laughed harshly and leaned back, his hands resting over Hawks.

“They killed him the next week, caught him entering Redgate… They put his head on a spike for all of us to see.” He finished glumly, “I think if I hadn’t started being as vile as I was, my master would have killed me herself. I dunno how many years I spent there, how many lives I took and how many times I was punished. Gods I don’t even know if twenny-three is ma real age.”

“How…How did you escape?” Hawk whispered.

“Diana. I was at the end of my life. I had been defeated in battle, and with that, my master lost her title. She left me in the area to die and die I think I did, that part is a little hazy. And then when my eyes opened again, I was healed. My body still bore the old scars, but my fresh wounds, they were gone.” Alex smiled. “Then out’a nowhere, a woman appeared before me. I think she was a woman anyway; her eyes were the brightest blue. ‘You are Alexander,’ She had said ‘noble blood is in your veins though that is not important.’ She leaned down to me, her body shimmered bright gold It was almost painful to look at, and in my confused post-death mind, I could of sworn she had a crown of ivy leaves that grew into her hair.”

Hawk pressed kisses to Alex’s shoulders; the skin was rough under his lips, and Hawk wanted to spill the blood of everyone who had laid a finger on him. How dare they ruin this man in such a way.

“Anyway,” Alex sighed, leaning into Hawks embrace. “She brushed the hair out of ma eyes and kissed ma brow. ‘A rabbit is a cunning creature, much more so than a fox. Could you be the rabbit I need to save the world? A funny thought, no? Yet here we are, a god and a human who has forgotten his name.’ I couldn’t remember what I said; I think I drooled a little as my body was not yet properly living again.”

Alex was pushing his walls back up, changing the nature of his words and hiding his feelings behind a fortress of humour. Hawk wished he was strong enough to break those walls. He wanted Alex to be open; he wanted him to spill his guts and serve them up to him. It was a greedy thought, to know things that only Alex knew. To sample the forbidden fruit of his memories. And for what was Hawk’s betraying thoughts? Because of selfishness? Because he had this uncontrollable familiar sense when he was near Alex? As though they had known each other before?

He itched terribly. He wanted Alex’s secrets almost as badly as he wanted to tell his own to Alex.

“‘Do you think you have no purpose now you are no longer a slave?’ She had asked, swirling around me. I think I replied with a shrug… ‘Rabbit’s have a vital role in the food chain. Without them, too many weeds would grow, and we’d be unable to walk across the land. Alas, I look at you, and I see so much of my younger brother, sweet Alexander of Fell, it is your destiny. You will live for as long as it takes to protect the heir of the God-king. You will go north and find the girl whose hair is on fire. With her will be a God who will guide you.’ I was so confused; I kept looking at my hands. They were clean; they hadn’t been clean for years. ‘To make sure you do as been asked of you, I will grant you power beyond anything a human should be capable of, I only asked for your acceptance of your fate.’ She held out her palm and sliced a cut across it. I remember what I said to her then.”

Hawk could taste the excitement on Alex’s skin. He wanted Hawk to know; he wanted to share his secrets.

“‘If I am freed from here, then my entire being Is yours to do as you will, the power you give me is just a bonus.’ And with that, she cut my own palm and pressed them together… In a way, I have gods blood in my veins.”

Alex turned slightly, he was a couple of inches shorter than Hawk, but his eyes were level with his own. The horrible talon marks poked out from under his bandana. Hawk pressed his fingers just under them. Alex’s cheek was cold, but the warmth of his breath comforted Hawk. Alex was alive, Alex was breathing, Alex, Alex, Alex…

“You are breathtaking.” Hawk breathed. “I owe Diana, my entire soul, for bringing you back, for letting me see you.”

Alex’s breath hitched, and he pressed his cheek into Hawk's palm, tears threatened the corner of his eye, making it sparkle in the firelight.

“Stop, or I’ll cry.” Alex hummed and kissed his fingers, every one of them branded with the curse.

Hawk itched.

“I spent a year looking for Dawn, and when I found her, it was like finding my family.” Alex kissed his wrist. “I spend another year alone, out in the south looking for Crowley, but instead I found you. Finding you was like finding a home. I dunno what it is about you, I dunno why I can't stand being away from you, why I’d die for you. When I see you, it’s like my whole soul is singing, I want you to have my heart, my body my gods' damn mind.” Alex kissed the crook of his elbow. “You can have it all, every last scrap of me, it’s yours.” Alex looked up from his kissing.

Hawk could feel the tears running down his face, but he didn’t care. Lightning rumbled under his flesh, the voices in his head that didn’t scream of death and decay but of one name, one name that would melt on his tongue and taste as sweet as honey, as luscious as apples.

“Can I kiss you properly?” Hawk asked when all other words escaped him.

Alex nodded slowly, straightening himself up.

Hawk’s breath shook, how long had he wanted to press his lips to Alex’s? To feel the softness push against his own. To drink his love and taste how his heart longed to one with his own.

They kissed slowly, breathing in the presence of each other, each new press was a promise.

‘You are mine. I am yours.’

‘My heart belongs only to you.’

‘My soul.’

Hawk was lost in Alex, as they found themselves tangled in the soft grass that covered the rocky mound. He let Alex see him, let him trace his mouth across the scar on his shoulder, across the one that was faint against his ribs.

“My sweet Ambrosia, My James. Mine.” Alex muttered between the slow kisses. “I have waited my entire life for you.”

They spent the night in one another's arms. It was a night when both boys, broken as they were, felt whole again, and as they rested together, a blanket over their waist’s, they watched the stars. The starts watched back as that night; no darkness would find them, at least until they fell asleep.

“My Alex,” Hawk mumbled sleepily into Alex’s hair; he was already asleep, his arms wrapped so tightly around him that Hawk was sure he would never move again. “My love.”

The words hung on the tip of his tongue as his eyes slid shut.

The darkness did not stay away.


End file.
